Yes indeed folks.
We both know times are tough.
But, have you ever imagined yourself hired as James Bond?
Have you thought about working for the CIA?
They’re hiring, they pay great, want smart people (who don’t ask questions and don’t have any of that sticky moral baggage), and best of all – criminal laws don’t apply to employees.
Yes, you could get paid to officially “extraordinarily render” (also known as kidnap) people, use “enhanced coercive interrogation techniques” on them, and if you show promise they might even let you “put them down” or “euthanise” them.
Just like being a Mafia hitman, except there’s no threat of going to jail !
This is much better than James Bond stuff, because if you sign up — you could remotely pilot Reaper and Predator drones from a computer at Creech Air Force Base in Nevada, “collaterally damage” unarmed civilians halfway around the world (“C.I.A. Drones Kill Civilians in Pakistan), and get back home for a Saturday morning golf tee time at Pebble Beach.
I know, I know, CIA drones have only killed 2,000 Pakistanis since 2006. (and it is darned inconvenient they were mostly civilians, and yes you’re right, we aren’t technically at war with Pakistan), but still – YOU could help increase that total body count to impressive numbers.
And they hand out free stuff at these recruiting sessions like a CIA logo pen, logo carry bag and . . . (but I’ll save that for another article.)
So put on your spiffiest suit, leave your morals and sense of humor at home, and get on down to Middlebury’s MIIS.
Darth Sam Wants You to Help Make this a Fear-Based World.
Update March 2013: Not wanting to be left out the NSA (super secret US government agency) put on an information forum for prospective employees at MIIS on March 9th, 2013 at Noon.
Both three letter agencies now do this at MIIS every year !
Wikipedia article on CIA Kidnapping (euphemistically called “Extraordinary Rendition”) and Torture.
I bet you didn’t know the Monterey County Herald was advertising CIA Recruiting, this is an ad from 2010.